By Lisa-Marie –
No, silly–I don’t love my migraines. But I do love my partner who helps me through my life with migraines.
I’ve had migraines for 22 years now–and by the way, I’m only 22 years old. Migraines, for me, have been an obstacle that no one has been able to fully understand. But how could I expect anyone to understand who isn’t going through it themselves? I think I finally found someone who’s as close as it gets, though.
Let’s rewind a bit. At the age of 17, I fell for a boy for three years. He loved me, but didn’t love my migraines.
He didn’t love how I would have to be in bed, with no lights, no noise, and a puke bucket next to me.
He didn’t love that I cried from pain every week.
I would call out his name to seek comfort, but there was none to be received. I was always left to bear the pain by myself. Through his non-love for my migraines, he made me feel handicapped.
It was put in my mind that I am disabled and will never have a normal life. I would never be able to adventure or experience life the way I should. We would never have a life together because I’m holding him back. And I believed him…
….until I met my love two years ago.
Within our first month together, he saw one of my killer attacks. I cried throughout the night, and you know what he did? He stayed up with me without hesitation.
I didn’t beg him to be there for me–he wanted to. Once daylight came rolling through, my pain had not subsided. Instead of going off to take care of his own needs, he stayed with me in bed all day to take care of mine. He brought me soup, Gatorade, ice–all the works. But the most important thing he’s brought me is strength.
Back in the fall, I experienced the worst migraine of my life. One that I cringe at the memory of. I puked over 20 times throughout the night, and once there was nothing left in me, I proceeded to dry heave (gross, I know). All the puking made my head worse due to massive dehydration. I wanted to cry bloody murder, but I knew even crying would make it worse.
My love became my strength that night. He sat behind me and massaged me while whispering in my ear how strong I am. Whispering to keep breathing when I wanted to cry. Mind you, the entire time I am fidgeting like crazy because the pain is so unbearable. At that level of pain, there’s no way to stay still.
All this, and none of it phased him. None of it scared him away. It made him want–and still want–to help me more. He helped me be the strongest I’ve ever pushed myself to be.
Being in love while having chronic migraines can go one of two ways. It could hinder your relationship, or it could be a blessing in disguise. Go for the latter relationship.
Find that person who understands that you can’t control your migraines. They are part of what defines you.
Find that person who can’t picture anything besides this invisible illness needing to be nurtured.
Find that person who knows you as a warrior. That person will be your love, forever.