By Mary (Guest Writer) –
I was scrolling through my Youtube feed when I came across a video by that title. My heart skipped a beat. “Will I watch it or keep scrolling down?” I asked myself. But deep down, I wanted to watch it for 2 reasons — I was also diagnosed with a mental illness and I was curious how it was for others.
I was nervous but I sucked in a breath and clicked it anyway.
Here’s The Eye-Opening Video
(Trigger Warning: suicide and self-harm).
This video inspired me to start something similar for the chronic illness community. Something that will create understanding, awareness, healing, connection and empathy among us. More on this later.
In the meantime, I’d like to ask for 3 minutes and 22 seconds of your time to watch this video below.
The confession that struck me the most was:
“I’ve cut myself since I was 7. Now I’m sending with my secret, my only real and true friend, my razor.”
I hurt myself, too. Not with a razor, though. At my lowest low, I found myself fiddling with my toenails. I discovered that they’d become so brittle when I accidentally tore one of them. I continued ripping them in tiny pieces because it felt satisfying. When a piece reached the end, I pulled it out. The sharp pain and the squirt of blood reminded me that I was still alive.
I’m glad my toes healed and my nails grew back again like nothing happened. And I’m glad that person sent the razor with the postcard. I hope his/her cuts (inside and outside) have healed, too.
The Birth of The Spoonie Secrets Project
“PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.”
As a SoulPancake fan, I’m thrilled that PostSecret partnered with them to feature secrets about mental health.
Then, it dawned on me…
What if the chronic illness community will have a similar platform (minus the postcard, art and mailing)?
A safe place where we can vent and reveal raw, unfiltered truths, thoughts and feelings without the risk of exposure or fear of hurting the people around us. It will not only raise awareness but I believe it will help in our healing process. Then, there’s connection, understanding, community and empathy.
With the help of some awesome spoonie friends to get the ball rolling, I launched the Spoonie Secrets Project on August 19th. I received 20 anonymous confessions for the first week and 10 for the second. I honor all of these spoonies for their courage to share their precious stories. I hope they touch your heart like how they’ve touched mine.
What secret(s) are you holding on to?
Share it (anonymously) here.
Bio: Mary helps women with chronic illness to shine and thrive. To participate in the Spoonie Secrets Project, click here for more details.