By Sheri (Guest Blogger) –
On this day, I walked out side into the morning sunshine. In this moment of this day, I feel joy. I am optimistically cautious as I emerge into the warmth of the light, away from where the curtains remain drawn.
As I write this to you, I feel a smile on my face and revel in this moment. Warm sun on my face and lovely breeze dancing across my skin and through the trees around me. It is a gift of a blessed day! I must disclose, that it did not begin this way… Nor may it stay.
Since childhood and beyond, I have struggled with feelings of isolation and inadequacy. Then a random post online lead me to a forum for chronic migraineurs. It was there that I read my life, reflected back to me, in the words of others. Their struggles were mine and a lifetime of misunderstanding was understood.
From there I searched the internet for information about different types of migraines… Apparently random, this appeared on my screen: “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares The Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I not only accepted this as a blessing, but also as a whisper to reach out to those most important in my life. To ask for your support. Although in no way do I feel ‘woe is me,’ this invisible vascular disease, often rules my life.
Please try and understand this: when I am blessed to be present with you, my smile is a grateful one that comes from my heart. However, the reality is, behind the smile of chronic migraineurs, is the constant fear of having to detach and retreat.
Simply put, daily life is filled with migraine triggers. The list is so extensive that I would lose you for sure. But just to present a few: light, reflection, temperature, air pressure, cologne/perfume, scented candles and cleaning supplies, certain foods and drinks, noise, stress and the let down of stress, too much or too little sleep… Essentially, every day life.
I want to be present and I am all too aware that I have missed so much, and mourn those missed moments. Dear hearts, my prayer is this, for you to see me in the light. I love you, I want to be accepted and present with you. So, when I get to spend any time with you, it is the greatest gift in my eyes. I love you!