Moriah

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Hello fellow humans! I’m Moriah, and I’m a blogger here at Migraine Mantras. I’m a universe exploding inside of a bag of bones, so I tend to get on tangents and write novels where sentences would do. I’m very excited to have you bearing with me on this adventure of sharing my story, and the ponderous adventures in which I find myself, all while dealing with invisible illnesses like hemiplegic migraines. I’m simply joyful to be here with you all and I’m really looking forward to learning more from fellow migraineurs! It’s when open dialogue is encouraged and supported that information is broken down and re-synthesized into something new, something created, something manifested from the peak of what I call complex passion. More on that later…

The 6th oldest of 9 children, I was born and raised in Southern Indiana on the other side of the bridge from Louisville, KY. I studied psychology and neuroscience in college, and spent years serving and bar-tending, where I met my now-husband. I’ve done a little bit of everything, from unloading packages third shift at UPS to pay for college, to being an optometrist tech, a non-profit volunteer service rep, a youth counselor to psychologically disturbed teenage girls, being a certified custom framer at a frame shop, being the band manager of a local band in my hometown. I’ve spent time in Barcelona as an au pair, and I spent 2017 in Sydney, Australia. I like rock and metal music, social justice, expression/creation in any form, and I believe in the power of manifestation. I believe in the power of self-forgiveness. I believe in putting art on your body and art on your walls. And I believe in creating a space inside of you where you give yourself full permission to grow. You water it. Life begins there.

My story is one of childhood trauma, rescue, survival, and of rising from the ashes and transmuting pain into tenderness, grace, and patience, and most importantly, love. I suffer from chronic hemiplegic migraines, PCOS, chronic anemia, and I have been ‘red-flagged’ so to speak for Multiple Sclerosis for the past few years; I’ve been told it’s not so much a matter of ‘if’ I get the diagnosis, but of ‘when’ I’m able to get the diagnosis.
So in my mind, I concurrently live with undiagnosed MS and the hemiplegic and chronic daily migraines. I spent my teenage years suffering from anxiety, depression, and an undiagnosed attention problem, caused by a very violent and constant inner warfare between my scientific left brain and artistic right brain, under-stimulated and restless anywhere that I went.

I faced some of the darkest waters of the mind and slowly crawled my way out. I did this by becoming aware of my traumas, taking accountability for the actions I decided upon as a consequence of my unresolved traumas, and diving deep within myself to find forgiveness and rebuild a new mental infrastructure. All while Vice President of my class, National Honor Society member, Spell Bowl junkie, tennis player who did theatre and choir and always had her camera and always barefoot. This was not a linear process or even a completely chronological one, with what felt like the present effecting the past and the present being dictated by an out-of-control future. But I grew ever stronger, ever more forgiving; I learned my power by taking control to keep myself safe, to progress forward, and to always stay hungry for a better present. And in his journey of self-forgiveness… I became Love.

When I was 22, I took on the role of mother to my then-boyfriend’s 3- and 6- year old. Having been surrounded by so many children growing up (my parents were foster parents as well as operated an in-home daycare), I naturally fell into the role of leader and warm nurturer and developed a bond like any parent does to their child. I am acutely fortunate to hear these children introduce me to their friends as their mom and watch them turn my stories into leadership applications in their own life — our 7 year old will get red-in-the-face mad about litter on the ground. If that’s not my child!

The icing on the cake came in March of 2016, I miraculously gave birth to our youngest son, who has completed our family unit and been such a source of joy for us all. Secretly, I really do enjoy the looks I get when people try to guess my age, somehow being shocked that I am as young as I am. There was a day when I didn’t know if I would make it through that week’s episode of self-loathing… and yet I have risen and learned what it means to love myself and allow myself to grow, and have been fortunate to have launched myself into so many broad and deep life experiences as I have!

The best part is that I have discovered many useful hobbies, passions, wisdoms, and life hacks along the way, which have helped me to live a holistic lifestyle and self-manage my neurological symptoms and conditions to the best of my ability and with zero medications — I spent 7 hours in induced labor with no anesthesia when pregnant with my son, until an emergency c-section was called for — but, tangents! These hobbies I’ve accumulated include 21 years of writing, 16 years of studying Spanish, 16 years of choir, 13 years of theatre, and a decade of four-wheel riding in the backwoods of our Indiana farm. The wisdom I’ve picked up relates to everything from attachment styles, interpersonal dynamics, self-growth blocks and inhibitors, the concept of finding your therapy; I enjoy problem-solving in any application.

When I’m not problem-solving, I enjoy making collages, doodling, painting, anything to do with mixed media, or any other form of creation, manifestation, taking 2D and tossing it into 3D, that I can get my hands on. I also love a dusty old psychology textbook, quantum physics diagrams, and maps of the 14 dimensions of neuronal connectedness. I am an anomaly, swinging widely in every direction, and I do hope you will be entertained by my stories, hypotheses, and downright wild notions.

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